Today is the 20th of June, and astrologically speaking, the Sun is entering the sign of Cancer. In keeping up with this new section, here’s the story of the constellation, and it is an inglorious one…

You all know Hercules, right? That drunken, brutal, super-strong, fallen hero, who was deeply hated by Hera? I’m also certain you have heard of the 12 tasks he completed, but did you know that he had to go through with that in order to redeem himself for killing his children and wife while drunk? Yeah, I know, that fine detail wasn’t in the Disney movie…

Anyway, back to our story.

One of his tasks was to kill the Lernaean Hydra. She (yep, it was a “she”) was a horrible creature, daughter of Typhon and Echidna, raised by Hera just to torment Hercules. She was serpentine, like her parents, and lived in the lake of Lerna, guarding an entrance to the Underworld. She had, according to the writer, from six to nine heads, but here’s the plot twist; every time a head was cut off, two would spawn in its place.

My guess is that when Hercules went to confront her, he had sobered up, because he played amazingly smart. He first lured her out of her cave, and while he was cutting off the heads, his friend Iolaus was cauterizing the stumps.

When Hera realized that Hercules was winning, she had a brilliant idea… she sent a huge crab to distract him. Seriously Hera? Was that the best you could do? You can understand how the story went…

“What the hell is that?” asked Hercules.
*stomp * *splat * * squish* and the crab was no more…

Oh, there’s also a different version of the story where Hercules kicked the crab so hard, it found itself directly in the night sky. Take your pick!

Hera decided to honor the effort nevertheless, by placing the crab up there, together with the constellations of Hydra and Hercules. The sad part is that since the crab didn’t pull through with its task, the constellation is one of the faintest ones, having no major stars.

Firstly published: 20/06/17